


Starting Over for the First Time

by Immicolia



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Developing Friendships, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:12:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6588943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immicolia/pseuds/Immicolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post volume 13. After the end of the mess that occurred in Ikebukuro, Kujiragi is moving on.  While she does, Tsukumoya begins messaging her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kasane receives the first message three days after everything ends. A short text from a blocked number offering assistance if she'd like that is signed off with a simple "Tsukumoya".

She doesn't question how he managed to get in contact with her. Tsukumoya Shinichi has long been a thorn in her side even while he played at being neutral. A better question is why he is making the offer at all and whether or not he can be anywhere remotely near trusted. Two questions that she ultimately decides to answer as "who knows" and "likely not," deleting the text without a second thought and disposing of the phone.

Getting herself a clean phone is something she should have done immediately after everything fell through anyway. Not that she thinks for a moment that it will stop Tsukumoya from finding her again but at the very least it makes for momentary peace of mind.

As if to prove how persistent he can be when he feels like it, a day later she receives another text that reads: [The offer still stands.] Once again she ignores it, although she doesn't trash her phone this time, simply turning it off and setting it aside once she deletes the message.

Not that it matters. An hour after that the phone turns on by itself and lets out a cheerful chime to indicate another message. One that says, [At the very least you could properly decline my generous offer as opposed to just ignoring me.]

This one she responds to with a question of her own. {Why are you being pushy? Before you would take any silence as dismissal and let the matter drop.}

The reply is quick, but slower than she expects from him. As if he took a bit of time to properly consider his response before sending a string of texts, one after the other. [The status quo has changed and I'm confident you're uninterested in bringing any further harm to my city. So, I've decided to offer an olive branch, such as it is.] A pause, then, [Would you prefer to discuss this in my chatroom? It would be a bit less clunky and far more secure than this.]

{I thought the room was gone.}

[Oh, no. It's never really *gone*.] And even though she has no idea what his voice might sound like she can almost hear the laughter in that reply. [I just made it a bit more discrete. Moved it around. And after we have our conversation I'll move it again. With you seemingly out of the game and Izaya... well.... I don't have much of a reason to maintain it the way I previously did. But, here....]

The next message is a string of numbers, what she assumes to be the direct address to his server, and a small frown creases her brow as she studies it. For whatever reason Tsukumoya has some odd sort of fixation on her at the moment and likely isn't about to let her go without an extensive conversation.

Maybe he's lonely. Anxious to discuss recent events and she's the only one knowledgeable enough that he can do so without risk.

Whatever the reason, odds are good he's not about to leave her alone until she, at the very least, shows up in his chat.

Without a single wasted movement Kasane sets her phone aside and boots up her laptop. Not surprised when a window opens on its own the instant the desktop pops into view.

 

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Much better!

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
You changed my display name.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I did. It seems silly to continue calling yourself "Yodogiri" on here, doesn't it? That's all behind you now.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Truth be told there was no reason for you to do it around me in the first place. I always knew, but I respected the role you chose to play at the time.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I suppose.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
What is it you're so anxious to discuss?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You, of course!

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Me?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Yes. Specifically, do you have any ideas of what to do now that you're your own woman?

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I haven't thought about it beyond the fact that I'll be leaving the city. I'd think that would be enough for you.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Mmm... I suppose. But you know I'm a very curious person. My area of focus may be Ikebukuro but that doesn't mean I'm entirely uninterested in the things that go on outside of it. Especially things that involve people who spent so much time here and affected so much.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I think it's more that you're bored now that everything is over and can't find Orihara Izaya to gossip about the details with.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I do not "gossip" with anyone, let alone Izaya.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
If I was just gossiping for my own amusement do you really think I would charge him for the information I share?

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Yes. It was your way of keeping him at an arm's length.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
He was a very dangerous individual and you recognized that. So you played at being his source while you observed him.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I'm sure he realized it too and was playing along to observe you in turn. Neither of you are as clever as you like to think.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Maybe all of us are equally clever. Yourself included.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Either way, we're getting distracted. Your low view of me isn't relevant to this conversation.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Fine. Is finding out my future plans the only reason you called me here?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Tsk. You're far too brisk and businesslike, Kujiragi-san. You need to learn to be more casual on occasion. Loosen up a bit. Be friendly.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I feel like we're having two different conversations.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I'm only saying these things because I want to help you.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You've lived your entire life up to this point in a set of specific, very rigid, roles. As the perfect assistant to the man who "raised" you, and I do use that term in the loosest possible sense, and then taking over that man's position. And now you finally have a chance to be your own person. To grow and shine. To get a hobby, adopt a pet, make friends....

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
But do you even know how?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
This is why I'm messaging you. I, as someone who knows all of your secrets, have decided to offer myself as your first real friend.

...

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I can't help but wonder what's in it for you?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You don't trust that I'm doing it out of pure altruism?

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
No.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You shouldn't be so suspicious.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
My only suspicion is that you're even more bored than I initially thought.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
It's only been four days. I thought you would appreciate peace returning to your city.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Ikebukuro is never really at peace even when things are quiet. If you had taken a bit of time to get to know it better perhaps you could understand.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You still could if you wanted to.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
This city welcomes everyone. Even self-proclaimed "villains".

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Even if the "city" welcomes me, there are portions of it that don't. I need to leave for a while or I'll be putting myself at risk.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
True enough, I suppose.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
If that's all you wanted, I should go. I have plans to make.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Very well.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Perhaps we could chat again sometime?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Even if you don't return to Ikebukuro, my offer still stands.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I'll consider it.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Thank you.

 

Without waiting for a response she closes the chat window and her laptop as well, not quite trusting Tsukumoya to let the conversation completely lie. She still has to decide where to go from here and can't risk the distraction.

And as if to prove just how incapable he is of letting her be, only a moment after setting her laptop aside Kasane's phone chimes with yet another text. One that she considers ignoring before deciding against it. Odds are good that if she did try to ignore it, he'd simply keep sending them.

[If I might make a suggestion, France is lovely this time of year. And there's a certain organization there that you may be interested in learning more about.]

Without thinking too closely about _why_ she's agreeing so easily, Kasane taps out a quick reply. {You'll wind up sending me the details no matter what I say, so go ahead.}

The response comes almost instantly: [They're already in your email.]

With a small shake of her head Kasane shuts her phone off. Tsukumoya's sudden interest in her is entirely confusing. Had it happened a few months ago she would have assumed it nothing more than a careful bit of manipulation to learn and ultimately stop her plans. But with everything said and done there is no reason for him to get close to her. Or at the very least, there is nothing obvious.

She's never really worried about much in her life, taking everything that comes to her as expected in some way or another. But this....

At the very least this is bothersome, if not entirely worrying.


	2. Chapter 2

Despite a small part of her wondering _why_ she is taking Tsukumoya's advice, Kasane does go to France; although she very pointedly stays away from Paris and the Organization. Instead she heads south to play at being a tourist. Spending a few lazy weeks in Nice and it's while she's packing in preparation to move on that another message from Tsukumoya comes.

[Enjoying your trip?] is all it says. A statement that is so casual and breezy and _friendly_ she doesn't know what to make of it.

['Yes' or 'no' is the expected answer. There's no trick here, Kujiragi-san, just friendly curiosity.]

The second message blinking onto the screen makes her realize that she's been staring and her lips tighten into a thin line of annoyance, albeit more at herself than anything. Every movement a bit sharp-edged as she sinks to a sitting position on the end of the hotel room's bed and taps out a quick reply.

{It's been very pleasant. Is there something you wanted? If you're curious about whether or not I got in touch with that group, the answer is no.}

[Oh, no. I don't care about that at all. Really, if I'm being perfectly frank I wouldn't trust any given member of the Organization as far as I could throw them, so you not wanting to bother with them is perfectly understandable. It's just been a little while so I thought I'd say hello. Check in. See how you are.]

{You're bored.} She types the two words without thinking. She said it last time as well but now she's even more positive that this is the truth of the matter. 

[I am not bored. Ikebukuro is never quiet enough that I could get *bored*.]

{Bored or maybe just lonely. Why else would you bother to keep in touch with me? I'm outside of your city.}

[Let's not get into this nonsense again. How is Nice? Did you take any pictures?]

{I never told you I was in Nice.}

[I'm very well informed. You should know that. Back to point: any pictures?]

{No.}

[Oh, Kasane-san! You really should. A city, every city, lives and breathes and *feels* and when people come to visit it wants to show off. But most of all it wants you to remember it. Take a few photos. Take that beauty it wants you to see with you when you leave.]

A slight frown creases Kasane's brow. Not so much at Tsukumoya's tangent, coming from him that sort of overtly poetic rambling is almost expected, but at the sudden switch from the properly distant 'Kujiragi-san' to her first name. It's curious, and she ignores everything else he said in favour of it.

{Why the sudden familiarity?}

[My apologies. As I told you before, I am more than willing to offer my friendship to you but I suppose it was a little early to be this familiar. I just got wrapped up in the point I wanted to make, that's all. I'll go back to an appropriate distance if you'd prefer.]

{I would.}

[Very well. But my initial point remains. You should go out and take a few pictures before you leave. You have a rental car, correct? You're not glued to any particular itinerary. Go out and capture your last few hours here. I'd love to see the results.]

{I'm sure you've seen pictures of Nice before. You spend enough time on the internet.}

[Certainly. But not yours. Everyone has a unique perspective, Kujiragi-san.]

She doesn't respond to that and surprisingly Tsukumoya doesn't push the conversation any further.

But when she leaves the hotel she does spend more time than she intends traveling through the city's streets one last time, snapping the odd photo with her cell phone as she goes. Not because Tsukumoya suggested it, simply because she supposes it would be nice to have something pleasant to look back on.

She doesn't think too hard about why she attaches the pictures to an otherwise blank email and sends them to the address she has for Tsukumoya.

Maybe if she humours him he'll be entertained enough that he'll be less inclined to keep bothering her.


	3. Chapter 3

Kasane can't quite pinpoint exactly when she starts chatting with Tsukumoya on a regular basis; it's simply something that happens. He keeps texting her and she keeps responding and after a while it just becomes more convenient to enter his chatroom at the end of the day for a brief conversation. She curls up in bed with her laptop and lets him tell her about what has been happening of late in Ikebukruo (not that she's particularly interested, but Tsukumoya likes to talk) and prod her for information about what she's been up to and generally just make a nuisance of himself.

It's almost comfortable in how routine it's become. Comfortable enough that after a while she begins offering information without being prodded by a good half-dozen needling questions.

 

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I can't speak for too long tonight, I have a meeting.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Oh? Online I assume, it's getting a bit late where you are for anything else.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Yes. As enjoyable as lounging around playing tourist is, I can't do it forever. I have a few offers for procurement jobs stacking up that seem worth my while. One of my clients should be getting in touch in a few minutes.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I wouldn't be surprised if you already knew all of this.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Now how would I? I've said before that I'm not a hacker. And even if I were, I respect your privacy enough to not go snooping through your various accounts.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I don't quite believe that.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Regardless, I'm surprised you're just dismissing me like this. I'd think you could keep up with two online conversations at the same time.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I could, I'd just rather not.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
As I said, I don't believe that you'd stay out of my business. Even if you claim to not be a hacker you're still dangerously capable when it comes to keeping an eye on things that you shouldn't.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Fine, fine.... Since I'm positive any attempts at assuring you that I'm uninterested would fall on deaf ears I'll leave you to it.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Have a pleasant evening, Kujiragi-san.

 

She logs out with a brief farewell and after waiting a few minutes to assure herself that Tsukumoya has likely moved on she opens a messaging program and waits. It only takes a few seconds after that for the contact to come.

[you're late]

{I apologize. I was making sure that this conversation would remain anonymous as you wished.}

[i don't care about the excuses let's just get on with it]

{All right. I can appreciate the need to get down to business. What is it that you're looking for me to aquire?}

[how much do you know about internet anomalies]

{What do you mean?}

[there's rumors of some sort of rudimentary intelligence inside the internet itself]

[or there's something using up a lot of bandwidth and processing power at the very least]

{And I assume this means you'd like me to find it for you.}

[not just find]

[trap]

[there are people who would be interested in acquiring this thing whatever it is and are willing to pay handsomely]

{I hope so. With what little you're giving me to go on it won't be cheap. And I will not guarantee any sort of results. This isn't something physical you've asked me to fetch for you, you effectively have me chasing down a ghost.}

[that's why i'm asking you and not anyone else]

[you are the best at this if anyone can find this whatever it is it's you]

[do we have an agreement]

{I'd like half of my payment up front and I reserve the right to terminate the contract and still retain that half if this turns out to be a wild goose chase you're sending me on.]

[i suppose i can't argue with that]

[i'll send you the first half of your payment momentarily and i'd like progress updates every two weeks]

{Very well. Does that conclude our business for today?}

[for now]

{All right. Your payment appears to have gone through so we'll meet again at the same time two weeks from now. It was a pleasure doing business with you.}

Without another word Kasane closes the program, her mind rolling over exactly where to start. There's no information to go on, but at the same time she's never been one to back down from a challenge. At the very least chasing down what may very well be a ghost is an interesting way to get back into the game.

For the next week she buries herself in chasing down unsubstantiated rumors. Most are ridiculous. A tangle of rambling "what if"s and "wouldn't it be cool"s bandied about by children that are far too into cyberpunk. But among the nonsense there is the odd thread of something that just _might_ be true. Strange digital footprints left here and there around the world. Something that shows her exactly why her current employer was willing to throw such an obscene amount of money into finding it.

There is something out there that appears to be capable of entering any network simply because networks are its natural habitat. Having that kind of creature, even just to study to see how it works and can be adapted into a tool, would be priceless in the long run. If it could be reasoned with or even simply enslaved into working for them, it would be worth even more, even if the later possibility could be considered distasteful.

Not that she cares about the ethics of it. Whatever it is, it's clearly as inhuman as she is and far outside the constraints and protections of the law. Someone wants it, she was hired to retrieve it, and whether or not it has enough of a consciousness to be upset by the idea of captivity is immaterial.

She is a villain after all, and this is all she knows how to do.

And she doesn't even notice that at some point Tsukumoya stopped messaging her every evening.


	4. Chapter 4

In retrospect the results of her search all seem very, very obvious. Tsukumoya has never been seen outside of an internet context. Even when he was writing books his editor had never met with him in person. He was reclusive, presumed to be a shut-in of some kind or possibly even entirely agoraphobic. Kasane always had a suspicion that there was something more to him than a simple author and blogger who had a habit of sticking his nose where it didn't belong but at the time she had far more irritating thorns jabbing her in the side to deal with than one man who knew far more than he should. And after everything ended it simply wasn't worth it. Tsukumoya offered an olive branch and she accepted. Whoever he might be didn't matter anymore.

The further she digs into her current job however, the more clear it becomes that Tsukumoya Shinichi is less of a "who" and more of a "what". He isn't just a mysterious individual. He is a _mystery_. An anomaly. He is something with too much knowledge. And as by-product of that knowledge, too much power.

He is exactly what she is searching for. Not the only one. There are faint hints of another as well, but that one is harder to pinpoint. Tsukumoya is centralized. He lives and breathes in Ikebukuro. Or more, in its internet infrastructure.

All it will take is a few more weeks of research and she could likely find a way to capture him, just as she's been asked. A careful study of his habits, how he moves, if he has some sort of a centralized consciousness that could be lured onto a device that could then be isolated from the internet. Those few things would be enough. The fact that he's friendly with her is an added bonus. He'd trust her. She could lead him anywhere.

It would be so simple. So very, very, simple.

So why does the thought of following through unnerve her so much? Why is there an insidious thread of discomfort that wraps around her heart and _squeezes_ a bit even as she considers the possibility?

When did she get attached?

The questions don't stop coming as she opens her laptop and her fingers dance across the keys. Address, username, password. All entered without a moment's hesitation, taking her right to the man (creature) who at the very least should have one answer for her.

 

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Why didn't you tell me?

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I beg your pardon?

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Why didn't you tell me what you are long before this point? Then at the very least I could have made an informed decision.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
As it was I took this job blind, with no idea what I was hunting.

 

She doesn't even consider the possibility that he has no idea what she's talking about. Of course he knows. There's no way he can't know. The sudden silence from him seems all the more obvious now that she's back in his chatroom. It's been well over a month since their last conversation. It's been well over a month since she took up this job. He knew the instant she accepted and walled himself off, likely aware that it was only a matter of time until she figured him out.

It's hard to say what he would have done if she had tried to trick and trap him instead of approaching him openly like this. Would he have gone along with it? Would he have tried to talk her out of it? Would he have simply disappeared into the ether never to be seen again?

Does it even matter?

 

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
The fact that you took it so easily, without the slightest thought as to whether or not what you were chasing was sapient, is exactly why I didn't tell you.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You describe yourself as a villain, Kujiragi-san. Why on earth would I trust you with my greatest secret? With the absolute core of who I am.

 

Despite the fact that his reasons are completely understandable that odd tightness returns to her chest. Even though she has no reason, no _right_ , to feel hurt, that cold thread keeps squeezing and squeezing. He'd been pushing and prodding at her for friendship, after all. She may not have anything in the way of practical experience when it comes to such things but the concept she understands well enough. Friends are honest with one another, it's the sort of saccharine moral paraded around in children's shows.

But then she offered him nothing in return. She recognizes this. He never owed her honesty because she offered none.

She's so lost in thought it takes a moment for her to realize that he continued messaging. He must have taken her silence as a form of agreement to his assessment of her.

 

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
So now you know. And I suppose knowing means you have to make a decision.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You either make your attempt to capture me, in which case I will fight you tooth and nail. And if I escape I will cut all ties with you. I will eradicate this chatroom and you will never hear from me again.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Or you let me go, which will likely be detrimental to your reputation. But you will still have my friendship. And you will gain my trust.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
These are your options.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Or I have a third option.

 

She's not sure why she says it. She's not sure why it matters to her at all. Maybe she's greedy and wants the best of both worlds. She wants to remain the detached villain who will do what is asked of her. What needs to be done. But she also wants this. Someone to talk to who seems to have a genuine interest in her and her feelings. 

She wants it all.

 

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
In my searching I did find that there's another... "entity" I suppose, that is similar to you.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I could still fulfill my contract without harming you at all.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I'm well aware of QAWSED's existence, and as much as I dislike them I don't want to see them sold into any sort of imprisonment either.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
If you think simply throwing someone else to the wolves in my place will keep my trust you're sorely mistaken.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
You call yourself a villain and are capable of all the cold-hearted cruelty that word implies, but I am not.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I can't continue to associate with you in good conscience if you do.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Would you have equal problems with anything else I did, or is it only things that effect you directly.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Who's to say? Maybe I'm just selfish and don't want to be put at risk, or have the associated guilt of seeing someone being put at risk in my place.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Maybe I'm just as bad as you and Orihara and simply don't want to own up to the fact.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
But either way this is my line in the sand. If you try to capture myself or QAWSED, or even simply pass on information of our existence to your buyer, you can consider our friendship at an end.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
The choice is yours. And whatever your decision I will know the results.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I'll leave you to make your decision. Don't try to contact me. I'll message you with new chatroom details once I'm sure of my safety.

 

The chatroom closes so abruptly Kasane almost doesn't have a chance to read the final line. Tsukumoya's sudden coldness is shocking, although not unwarranted. 

She doesn't notice that her hands are shaking until she lifts one of them to her face to rub at the bridge of her nose. There's a headache coming on, a tight pressure behind her eyes that matches the one in her chest. A building urge to scream and scream and not stop that she's never felt before. Not even when Shinra rejected her. Perhaps because that rejection she expected. She has always expected the worst. Tempered expectations make it so easy not to feel.

Until now.

Tsukumoya was such an odd bright spot. Someone who asked nothing of her. Someone who simply wanted to chat. Someone who seemingly knew all of her secrets and simply didn't care.

And now she has to decide just how important the existence of such a person in her life is to her.


	5. Chapter 5

Kasane doesn't sleep at all that night.

Not that she sleeps much to begin with, but the pressure to deal with the tangle that has come of this job leaves her tossing and turning through the night. She can't find a comfortable position. She can't clear her head. She can't _relax_. All she can do is keep rolling her last conversation with Tsukumoya over in her mind.

She has to maintain her reputation. Procurement is the only job she knows. Being an unapologetic villain is all she knows. These two things are at the absolute core of her, what she was raised into, and the thought of turning away from that for even a moment almost terrifies her.

At four in the morning she finally gets out of bed to shower, refusing to acknowledge the fact that her eyes ache. She has one single memory of crying, something so faint and far in the past that it feels more like a dream than anything. She has not cried once since then and she is not crying now. Not over something so foolish.

What she should do is simply follow through and finish the job and damn Tsukumoya for setting up an ultimatum in the first place. She never asked for him to keep annoying her, even if she did eventually grow used to it. Even if she did eventually come to almost _crave_ the simple connection and the fact that he treated her like more than a thing.

She is a monster, unknowable and cruel. Tsukumoya may be entirely aware that she is a potential threat to him now but all it will take is one message to her employer with all the information she has gathered so far and that should be enough. She may be forced to take a slight pay cut since she didn't trap him herself but it's a small price to pay to not have to deal with this anymore.

Just one message and it can all be over and done with. She can fall back into the role she was born to play.

Just one message.

Kasane forces her hands to stay steady as she sends off an email. One line consisting of a time later in the afternoon. A final meeting so she can put this mess behind her.

Then she tries to sleep again. Tries to ignore the headache that hasn't gone away since that conversation with Tsukumoya and just get some rest.

It doesn't quite work.

Kasane is in a half-dozing state when the sound of the messaging program on the laptop she left open rouses her. Her head still fuzzy and aching as she clumsily types a reply to the curt, [what do you have to report] waiting for her.

{Nothing, I'm afraid.}

[then why are you wasting my time]

She hesitates for a moment. No matter how much she has thought on this, agonized over it, for the past day Kasane still doesn't have a clear answer. Setting up this meeting was impulsive, if anything she should have waited. Thought about it more. Weighed her options. She should have tried her damnedest to think of _some_ neat and easy way to deal with everything.

Except there is no neat and easy way. There is only one simple, yet entirely difficult choice.

One choice and only one answer to that choice she can live with.

{Because it's becoming more and more obvious that this whole job is nothing more than a wild goose chase, just as I thought it might be.}

[then you're not trying hard enough]

{I have scoured corners of the internet that you likely don't even know exist. There is nothing save for a few stories and a lot of wishful thinking passed around by children playing pretend. I can't bring you a product that doesn't exist.}

{If need be I'm fine with returning your initial payment, but after that consider this matter closed.}

[you're damn right I want my money back]

{Very well. I'm sorry this didn't end satisfactorily for you. But the fact that this thing might not even exist was always a possibility.}

{It's done. That concludes our business. If you ever have something more concrete that needs to be retrieved I'd be willing to offer a discount to make up for this.}

There's no response and for a moment Kasane simply sits there, her entire body still humming with uncertainty that she even made the right choice. It's an uneasiness that just won't fade and when another chat window suddenly opens on the screen in front of her she can't help but start slightly. Not surprised in the least at the name attached to the message.

 

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
Thank you.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
I have to admit, I wasn't sure if you'd let me go.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I wasn't certain myself. But what's done is done. There's no going back now.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
Hopefully this sudden nobility on my part won't come back to bite me.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
If need be I'll do what I can to lend my assistance. I'm sure there are a few people I know who could make use of your unique services.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
It's what friends do for one another, after all. Isn't it?

...

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
If you don't mind, I haven't gotten much sleep. I'm going to lie down for a while.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
All right.

_Tsukumoya Shinichi_  
We'll speak again some other time.

_Kujiragi Kasane_  
I... look forward to it.

 

The laptop closes with a soft click as she pushes the screen down, her fingers lingering thoughtfully for a moment on the glossy plastic. She'll never know if this was the right choice to make. Maybe she's just fooling herself by trying to be anything other than an entirely black-hearted villain who will turn on anyone and damn the consequences.

Or maybe this is finally the first real step she needed to take to get out from under the shadow she's been in for as long as she can remember. Maybe this is what she needs to do to become her own person.

Only time will tell.


End file.
